Thursday, February 17, 2005

Internet dating


"Oh help me! I am, like, totally stuck in this drawer!"

La Perla Posted by Hello

I am a: woman
Seeking a: man
Interested In: Friendship, Play, Dating, Serious Relationship
Age: 24
Location: washington, District of Columbia
Country: United States
Area Code: 202
Occupation: stuck in a dark underwear drawer
Education: College Degree
Ethnicity: Pink silk, tres lacy, merci!
Religion: goddess, naturellement
Star Sign: tee hee hee, whatever you want it to be!

Last great book I read
She left a copy of the Kama Sutra in the drawer with me. That book was very informative - and he was such a gentleman, too...[giggle] One time I got thrown on top of the bookcase and there were all these intense fellows like Shakespeare and Rilke and Nabokov...golly, my mind swims just thinking about it! I was happy to get back to the underwear drawer to take a nap.

Favorite on-screen sex scene
Oh, it's usually too dark for me to see...

Celebrity I resemble most
Prob'ly, like, Cleopatra! Because she was totally sophisticated!

Best or worst lie I've ever told
I convinced clean_blue_cotton that our owner had become Amish and was planning to trade us in for a petticoat. Tee hee hee, I'm such a kidder!

If I could be anywhere at the moment
Draped recklessly around my owner's lovely ankles

Song or album that puts me in the mood
Ian Dury - New Boots and Panties
OutKast - Where are your panties?

The five items I can't live without
I'm not alive, silly!

Fill in the blanks
going commando is sexy;
wearing me is sexier

In my bedroom, you'll find
Silk tapestries, yoga mat, books, and a fancy underwear drawer that hasn't been opened for ages!

Oh, you've got to help me! I love my owner so much, like, she is a total doll! Tee hee hee! She takes me to all these neat places like art museums and music shows and bookstores and lectures and parks and dance classes, so it's, like, super broadening for my mind. And she's always striking up conversations with strangers and getting into mischief. Gotta love it! But she only wears me when she's got someone in her life and has the opportunity to lounge around in luxurious underwear. Otherwise she wears that horrible prude clean_blue_cotton, and I just sulk in the drawer.

I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THE UNDERWEAR DRAWER FOR MONTHS!!! At least it smells like lavender in here. But I'm, like, SO BORED!!! It's a terrible situation for a flirty pair of panties that loves to see the world. So I need someone to inspire her to wear me again. Unfortunately, she's rather picky. Judging by on the people who have ripped me off her before, you're probably cute enough to get looks on the street, able to keep up in a conversation on Russian literature, and you have a strong character that expresses itself in an unusual and engaged life. Me, I'd settle for a pretty face and a pair of hands gentle enough not to tear me, but what do I know? I'm just a pair of panties.


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