Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Attend a potluck for the LGBT community and the Evangelical Christian Church

TIME: Saturday, May 21st, 6:30-8:30pm LOCATION: All Souls Church, Unitarian (1500 Harvard St. NW, 3blocks southwest of the Columbia Heights Metro station. Enter through the side door) EQUIPMENT: Food to share OPTIONAL: Bible, rainbow scarf or both NOT OPTIONAL: "Positive attitude"

I met the incomparable Kaelan for ladies' night at Chaos tonight. They had live performances of drag kings and burlesque strip shows, which may have been good, but we were so far in the back of the crowd that all we got was the sound of the songs they were singing karaoke to, and an occasional peep of jiggling lesbian flesh. "Want to get up on my shoulders?" Kaelan offered. "Sure!" And so I leapt onto her adorable shoulders, and she stood up, bringing my head perilously close to the ceiling. It's pretty fun, teetering on a 6' tall chair with a Southern accent that drips molasses, and I was just starting to get into the swing of things when a man tapped Kaelan on the shoulder. He wasn't wearing a uniform or anything, but he had that indescribable pompous air of the undercover police officer, or the hallway monitor that enforces water fountain time limits, or the Soviet customs official who checks your passport. "You have to stop that," he said.

A little bit later, as I was talking to Adam, his eyes widened. "Look behind you," he said. There were two beautiful women, dressed in bikinis and big boots, grinding away with some rather hypnotic hip wiggles. From what I could tell, their dancing was quite a bit better than what was going on on the stage. Adam amused himself by watching the women in the mirror, but I eschewed such pretense and just stared.

But, sure enough, within about five minutes, Boris Hallway Monitor slithered out from whatever greasy stone he'd been hiding under, and tapped one of the girls on the shoulder. I stomped up to him angrily. "Why are you telling them to stop?" I asked. "They're distracting people from the show on the stage," he said. "But the people who are watching them are the people back here," I said. "We can't see anything on the stage." "Well, that means you should have showed up early," he said. "That's not the point," I said; "the point is that they're not distracting me from anything since I can't see the show. Why can't you let them dance? They're having a good time." "No way," he said. "If I wanted a show like that I would have hired strippers." The women shrugged their graceful gazelle shoulders and melted into the crowd, as my mournful eyes followed their delicious booties, waving good-bye.

I hate people who spoil other peoples' fun! For heaven's sake, it's hard enough to enjoy ourselves in this life full of pain and suffering and disease and disappointment, without party poopers rushing to squelch the delight you've been enterprising enough to find. Any expression of creativity and pleasure should be cherished and appreciated, not crushed out of some kind of twisted repressed jealousy. Gosh, that guy really pissed me off. It reminds me of the time I was waiting in line at the INS office in New York to apply for my first Social Security number, the summer that I was interning for a dot-com. It was a very long and boring line in a hot office, full of annoyed people; not a good scene. Standing in front of me was a family with two young girls who were on the verge of going bonkers, much to their mum's distress. I winked at the girls and pulled a bottle of bubble solution out of my bag. Pretty soon we were all giggling and blowing bubbles into the air. The girls were ecstatic and having a great time, and all the people around us replaced their irritated expressions with that slightly moony look you get when children are being adowable. Then, just as I was about to blow the totally hugest bubble ever, a uniformed official came up and tapped me on the shoulder. "You can't do that here," he said.

Why is it always a tap on the shoulder? People never tap me on the shoulder for anything good. Usually they hug me or they put their arm around my waist. Those stupid shoulder taps never bode well.

Anyway, as I was walking out of Chaos, breathing and trying to remove the chip from my shoulder, a couple of wide-smiling girls on the street handed me a flyer. It reads, in its entirety:


A potluck meal and more for members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Community and members of the Evangelical Christian churches
Saturday, May 21st, 6:30-8:30pm
All Souls Church, Unitarian
1500 Harvard St. NW
3blocks southwest of the Columbia Heights Metro station. Enter through the side door

Purpose: To bring together members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Community and members of Evangelical Churches for an evening of relatedness and fun! It is a night to put aside differences/agendas and delight in the commonalities we share as human beings!

What to bring: Please bring food to share. Homemade or store bought - anything is welcome. Beverages will be provided.

Cost: Event is free!

Sponsored by: A very small group of individuals who dreamed this up and committed to making it happen. We are not affiliated with any particular organization or church. Contact Kelli at 240-413-1070 or send email to for more information or to RSVP.

Agreements of the evening: Participants will be asked to initial a board with the following agreements as they enter the dinner:
I am here to be related to other people and to enjoy a good meal and a good time. I will treat everyone I meet with respect and positive regard.


Would anyone like to come with me?


Blogger John Holt said...

Beautiful girl! You can stand on my molasses covered shoulders anytime!...screw the hallway monitors; next time we'll take it outside.

I got invited to this awhile back when I was walking through Dupont -- I'd LOOOOVEE to go with you, but not sure when Preakness (races) are letting out. Looks like alot of fun, though!

Love k

6:47 AM  
Blogger Sarah Smile said...

I wish I COULD come. I'm assuming you're going, have a deviled egg in my honor, ok?

3:49 PM  
Blogger zzzzzoe said...

I'm definitely going... it's gonna be interesting since I feel like I can relate to both communities, but am not a part of either (I'm bisexual but have never been actively involved in the LGBT community, and I'm certainly not an evangelical Christian, but do "get" religion, and am probably much more sympathetic to them than most people with my liberal worldview). But I think it's a great idea and I hope that other people are excited about it and are coming in with a positive attitude. And I bet LGBT people and evangelical Christians have more in common than they realize... as I discussed in my "God" post I think that a lot of fervently religious people feel pretty alienated from mainstream society. Both groups of people have highly "intentional" lifestyles...even if those lifestyles are very different.

8:32 AM  
Blogger MJ said...

Oh man I wish I could go too!! Have a great time -- I look forward to a full report.

11:29 AM  
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8:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Help me Dude, I'm lost.

I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw Elvis in the supermarket yesterday.

No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender".

He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a shiny, new plasmatv to go with that blue suede sofa of yours.

But Elvis said I, In the Ghetto nobody has a plasma tv .

Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger then I'm gonna go home and ask Michael Jackson to come round and watch that waaaay cool surfing scene in Apocalypse Now on my new plasma tv .

And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . .

"You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on "

Strange day or what? :-)

12:30 PM  

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