Spin in circles at the National Arboretum

LOCATION: United States National Arboretum, 3501 New York Avenue, NE TIME: 8am to 5pm, every day except Dec. 25 (although you could probably jump the fence) EQUIPMENT: Yourself, water bottle, joie de vivre OPTIONAL: Shea butter, juice, badass friend Matthew with sangfroid and superb map-reading skills OTHER LOGISTICAL NOTES: Best way for carless people to get there from DC is to bike. A cab from Dupont Circle is about $11. There is also a bus that leaves from the Arboretum gates at closing time and takes you to Union Station. The Yellow Cab Headquarters is located just opposite the big sign for the Arboretum on New York Ave, so it's also very easy to catch a cab home. (Plus you get to peek in the door and see what those people you speak to on the phone actually look like.)

Recipe to Cure Most Cases of Existential Dread:

1) Arrive at National Arboretum
2) Remove shoes
3) Tour Japanese garden with award-winning bonsai* trees on display; reflect on their similarity to well-manicured vegetable poodles; whistle "Waltzing Matilda"
4) Toss rock back and forth with friend; try to show off and do a fancy throw twisting it under your high kick; drop rock on your foot
5) Foot massage exchange with friend while sitting near fountain in herb garden
6) Walk through underbrush barefoot, attempting to catch the multitudinous grasshoppers
7) Yoga in azalea garden
8) Get down on your belly to observe praying mantis doing weird dance, until you get too creeped out by its evilness
9) Wash feet in herb garden fountain, surrounded by couples and cute old men smelling the roses. Notice rainbow reflected in the water drops.
10) Spin in circles really really really fast and fall over.
11) Sit in field and read Walt Whitman's Song of Myself to your friend, in its entirety, making sure you pause to take sips of water. Important: When you start to read, don't pay attention to how long it is or you will be discouraged and fear for the integrity of your vocal cords. Just put yourself in Walt's hands and do not fear. He will carry you through the whole way. Oh, and when he tells you "let us stand up" - obey him!

It was a Sunday, so after the Arboretum closed we went on over to the Meridian Hill Park Drum Circle. That's not part of the recipe, though - I'm just obsessed.

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* Correct pronunciation, I learned, is "bone-sigh" not "bahn-zai" which means "to your health and long life!"